Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Live for the NOW... not the future!

In order for me to fulfill a bucket list wish my wife Jennifer instructed me that I could do so on one condition.


So here it goes. Today is Tuesday, January 6, 2009. WOW, I made it to 2009. I have to be happy with that accomplishment alone.

This year I'll be 44 years old in March. The 26th in fact, in case you are wondering. 44 just happens to be my favourite number as well. Which makes things highly ironic as this year may be my last. You see, I think like that all the time. When I last wrote my blog on October 24, 2008, I wondered at that time...

"Is this my last trip?"
"Will I see Christmas?"
"Will I see 2009?"

Questions like these pop into my head constantly. People talk about next summer, when we're 50, what they're doing for retirement. Hell, I'm hoping I live till Christmas.

But then again, here I am. My health for most part has been pretty good. I have been congested more recently and coughing at night. That is expected with my disease and its progression. However, one must go on and deal with those effects. Overall though, its the mind that struggles with the end. I keep telling myself not to think about what will happen but live for today, tomorrow and two days after that. Live in the now, ease your pain by taking advantage of your condition now and not the future. For we never really know what the future will bring to any of us. This is important to remember for anyone, healthy or sick. Live for today, not for tomorrow.

So that's why I'm going on another adventure. A bucket list wish to see Las Vegas. My good friend John called me recently and asked me to go with him and his friend, Don. "We're going for five days," he said. "That will be plenty of time for you to get into trouble." John also advised me that all I had to pay for was the flight and bring my own play money. He would look after the rest, accommodations and meals. John is an amazing guy. You have to love a friend like that.

So I asked Jennifer. Of course she said because she knows how important is for me to do everything I can before I can't. Jennifer had one condition, of which I am doing right now. "UPDATE YOUR DARN BLOG," she said.

For the past couple months since my last Blog, I've been in pretty good shape. My brother and I had a wonderful trip to sunny Curacao. Temperatures of 33 degress celcuis day and night. Lots of beaches with pearly blue water and sand. A plethera of drinks and a golf course that took way too many strokes to complete. It was a true brother to brother bonding adventure.

Then came the Christmas season. Fast paced and enormously busy, I was lucky to see my new great neice, who is just as beautiful as her mother was as a baby. I was lucky to spend Christmas Day as the host of Christmas dinner, along with Jennifer and Trent, with my family. On boxing day, we travelled to Barrie and spent the day with Jennifer's parents and her brothers family. My brother-in-law, David, and his wife Trish have twin girls, who are 3-years old now and again as precious as can be. It was a tremedous thrill to read a book to them in my lap that day. Something, I hope, they will always remember.

Aside from those two busy months, I have been living life as normal as can be expected. Following Trent to hockey practice and games. Sharing in household chores like cleaning and cooking. And getting plenty of rest and watching movies. There are times when I don't feel ill. That is until the time comes when I have to force down my throat four little pills, called Chemotherapy, every 12 hours for two consecutive weeks. It is then that I am rudely reminded of my fate and my mind begins to wonder.

"Will I make it to my birthday?"
"Will I get to see Trent play lacrosse this summer?"
"Will Jennifer, Trent and I go on another holiday?"

It sucks. Believe me I know. The only positive thing I can take from this situation is that life is what you make it. And I'm going to make it last for as long as I can. I'm living in the NOW. And I don't give two shits about the future.


One final thing... if you notice on the right hand side of the blog at the bottom there is a section called Friends of Barry. Please click on the follow button and add your name to show me that people are reading this blog. I would certainly appreciate it. Thanks!

Thanks for Reading and Sharing... next blog, (I promise), January 19, 2009